Jina, from Los Angeles;
UTOPIA
Telling my story could be kind of stunning, for as it is now, it seems like I’m in utopia. You see, I actually was leading my dream life and it ended up in limbo. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut after facing the hypocrisies, along with being stabbed in the back by those surrounding me.
Let’s go back to those years before the political upheavals swept through my country, Iran. I was only twenty three years old when I got married. I married a young engineer who loved me immensely and when our three children came along, we led a happy life. After eight years into our marriage, we moved to Hamburg, Germany. My spouse, Nader, began his own business by opening an electrical appliance company. Soon, his business began thriving. He had hired a couple of Iranian and German secretaries. Every once in awhile, he took business trips abroad, while I was preoccupied with raising and taking care of our children.
Whenever my husband was out of the home, everyone tried to lure me. Surprisingly enough, my husband’s close friends wooed me for a relationship. Still, I would seriously turn them down. But after awhile, those friends of my spouse disclosed that my husband took his secretaries along him, whenever he would go away from home.
Later on I learned that he had lured his German secretary and he boldly asked me for a divorce. He further added that he was fed up with me and wanted to start over. At this point, I asked him to provide me with a beauty salon so as to make the ends meet. He did not embrace my demand but instead gave me some ninety thousand Deutch Marks as settlement.
I purchased a tiny condo and lived with my three children. He gave us a little monthly allowance as child support. I opened my beauty salon in the backroom of the tiny condo. I really had to scramble to cover my bills. I was happy and satisfied because my children were so very diligent in their education. After my two sons graduated, they got married and my daughter was engaged to marry her favorite man. When my first grand child came along, I was full of joy and happiness.
Within a span of over eight months, my children migrated to New York and Los Angeles. On my part, I sold my condo and joined them. It wasn’t long before I purchased a place of my own, this time it was an apartment complex, so as to make a living.
Then, five years ago, my mother went to Frankfort to visit her brother and I decided to fly to Frankfort to see my aging mother. On one occasion, when we both went to a hotel to visit a family friend who had come from London, I ran into a young Canadian man. He had just been robbed of his passport and all his cash. He was in trouble and had to check out because he couldn’t pay his bill. I volunteered to pick up the tab and that made him so happy. When he realized what I had done, he got so excited. I explained to him that I looked to him as my son because he reminded me of my own son. Michael, the young Canadian man, handed me his business card and promised to pay me back the funds once he returned to Canada.
I was back in Los Angeles and right away Michael sent my money back. I called him and expressed my appreciation. During the conversation he invited me to attend his birthday party in Van Couver. He even sent me a round trip ticket! While attending his party, he kept introducing me as his guardian angel.
Now came the big surprise. Michael soon moved to Los Angeles and got a job. After awhile, he began insisting that he was falling in love with me. I just tried to ignore him, saying that we were not fit, in terms of our age. But he was so adamant in his efforts. Anyway, when my family and friends found out that we had been dating, they began rebuking me by accusing me of being a cougar who was going to take advantage of a young man. Their meanness really hurt me so bad that I went into a deep depression.
Michael hovered over my bed round the clock and tried to comfort me, so as to regain my health. Finally, he persuaded me to go on a trip to get away from everybody and everything.
When we returned from our trip, he suggested that I should give all my property to my children. That then, they could see that even without me having any assets, I didn’t have anything to hogtie him with and I didn’t have anything materially for him to want and we still loved each other. Then, when my older son came over he tried to avoid Michael. Michael tried to talk to him and make him understand our love. But my son just shoved him and he fell down the stairs. Michael was rushed to hospital. He even refused to blame my son for his ordeal. He still kept holding my hand saying he loved me much more than his own life. And then, suddenly my dream love ended up in a night mare, when he succumbed to his untimely death.
Now, I am alone, with my children and friends almost, (I cannot say happy; but rather), satisfied. I am grieving now and having a hard time of it. For now, I just want to be left alone, to grieve in my own way, until God lets me know how to go on.