Firouzeh a disparate woman says:
MY HUSBAND BLOCKED MY TRAVEL OUT OF IRAN
I was looking forward to getting back to my joyful life in Canada as I arrived at Mehrabad airport, for departure. I was shocked to find out that my husband had blocked all my travel out of Iran. I trembled all over and my tears froze on my face.
I still, clearly remember that it was the summer of 1980, that my husband decided to leave Iran. He continuously said that could not find any of his close friends, as they had already left Iran for either Europe or the United States. On the other hand, because of my loving and caring family, I had no desire to go along. I had grown up in a tight knit family with six sisters and two brothers. It was hard to separate from them. But at the same time, I had to concede to my partner and accompany him with our two sons, ages three and four.
The first leg of our trip was Germany where we obtained our visa for Canada. After arriving in Canada my husband and I started working hard. Thanks to our Iranian friends, who baby sat our two children while we were both worked. After some years, when we were granted citizenship, my husband I got a good job in joint venture French and Canadian corporation. As a skilled machinery engineer, with good command in the English and French languages, he quickly climbed the ladder of success and prosperity. With his high annual income and benefits, we purchased our dream home in Vancouver. Cyrus, my husband, would wire monthly allowances for his parents while I did the same for my two sisters, who were studying in Iran. We were leading a happy life with our two talented and exceptional sons. Our son’s commendations were decorated the house.
With his position as the senior manager, my husband was always shuttling around the world. His abroad missions sometimes took him away for a couple of months. I suffered a lot whenever my husband was out of the country. I always asked him to take me along during his long trips abroad. But he would raise the issue of our minor children and how they needed at least one of us with them. After I let it be known to family, gave way to fairly typical scenes. My mother challenged that my husband could end up in temptation with such long and frequent trips. But I always looked up to my husband, as a faithful man who would never betray his family. Then, in 1999, four years into his frequent shuttling missions, I began to feel his coldness to me and his children. On one occasion, after he had returned from New York, I ever so sweetly asked him if he was fooling around? He got so mad that he left us alone and rushed upstairs. I felt betrayed and hurt and can not stop thinking about it. Things had been going pretty good for we had two beautiful children, good jobs and a supportive family. It wound up that we had a really big fight about it, with both of us ending up in tears.
I do not remember how long I had been sobbing in my room when my older son walked in. I did not hear him at first, in fact the sound of his turning the door handle was drowned out by loud music. I just remember a voice shouting at me above the music. ” He is having an affair. He has someone else.” It took a while for me to realize the words were coming from my own lips. My son stood there like a wax statue in the doorway, the color drained from his face. Because, once I learned from my friend, who had seen my husband in a New York restaurant with a nice looking woman. It came as a complete shock to me. Now, when Cyrus had returned and I asked him for the truth, he was in full denial. I had intended to share my worries with him, to unburden myself of the weight I was carrying.
I had planned to spend the rest of my life with this man and yet feared that my fight would have a detrimental effect on our relationship. I knew I would be on a slippery slope to depression. Cyrus tried to calm me down, by saying that he would take me along next time he was going abroad. For a couple of months he stayed at home and pretended to love his family. Once the Iranian New Year was looming, he suggested our returning to Iran to visit our families. When we got to Iran, he once again completely changed. One night, when we were fighting, he threatened that he was going to stay in Iran and would never return to Canada. Faced with my reaction, that our children had not yet finished their high education and enjoyed a joyful living, out there, he tried to bow down to my logic. After being in Iran just three weeks, Cyrus packed up and promised to return once he had got his job done. I waited for two months for him, I was becoming really bored and decided to get back to our home in Canada. While lining up at the airport, I found out that I had been blocked to travel out, by my husband. Frustrated and furious, I returned to my parents. They both were shocked and encouraged me to follow the case through legal channels. I tried my best, leaving no stone untouched. I eventually got an absentee divorce through an experienced lawyer. It is worth noting, that it took me some three years to get such a verdict.
At the moment, I am in Turkey and have already submitted my documents to the Canadian Embassy, to return to Canada to sue my husband. I am sure I will never forgive him for making me live a lie. There are nights when I relive the ghastly secret behind me and I wake up in a sweat, thinking I still have something to do.
Now, while I have the upper hand, Cyrus has expressed deep regret for his abusive attitude and has even promised me a nice house, to compensate for his mistakes. But I am not going to back down from my decision, to bring him to justice.